Addiction is a complex, emotional topic—especially when it touches the people you know and love. Whether your child asks about a struggling relative, your own experiences, hears rumors at school, or sees signs in the community, talking openly about substance use helps reduce fear, confusion, and stigma. The key is tailoring the conversation to their age, understanding, and emotional readiness to help them understand this complicated brain disease.
Why Honest Discussion Matters
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), “About 10 percent of 12-year-olds say they have tried alcohol, but by age 15, that number jumps to 50 percent. Additionally, by the time they are seniors, almost 70 percent of high school students will have tried alcohol, half will have taken an illegal drug, and more than 20 percent will have used a prescription drug for a nonmedical purpose.”
Prevention begins with education—and parents and guardians are often the first and most influential teachers. Here’s how to discuss addiction with your child at age-appropriate levels and how to respond if they’re worried about someone they care about.
Ages 3–7: Lay the Foundation With Simple Truths
Children in this range don’t need all the details, but they’re beginning to understand right and wrong, rules, and cause and effect. Keep messages brief and rooted in health and safety.
Tips:
- Use non-complex language. “Some things—like alcohol or drugs—can hurt people’s bodies and make them sick if used the wrong way.”
- Relate it to general safety. “Just like we don’t touch hot stoves, we also stay away from things that can make our bodies feel bad.”
- Talk when it feels natural. Use everyday moments—TV commercials, a pharmacy visit, or someone smoking—to open small conversations.
If they know someone who’s struggling, reassure them they’re safe and not responsible for another person’s choices. You might try a phrase like, “Sometimes people use things that hurt them because their brains are confused or sad. It’s not your job to fix it—but you can always talk to me if you feel scared or worried.” There are also some helpful books that explain addiction.
Ages 8–12: Explain Addiction With Understanding and Empathy
This age group is more capable of understanding basic health and emotional concepts, and more likely to ask challenging questions about the world around them.
Tips:
- Introduce the disease. “Addiction is when someone keeps using something even though it’s hurting them. It changes how their brain works.”
- Keep communication open. Let your children know no topic is off-limits.
- Use science-based language. It’s important to avoid stigmatizing labels such as “addict” or “alcoholic” and use a more fact-based approach.
If they’re concerned about someone with alcohol use disorder (AUD) or substance use disorder (SUD), reinforce that their feelings are valid and that they’re not alone. For example, “It’s normal to feel confused or upset. People with addiction aren’t bad—they’re sick and need help. We can care about someone and still feel sad about their choices. If you’re ever worried, I’m here to talk.” According to SAMHSA’s “Talk. They Hear You.” campaign, early conversations—even brief ones—make a lifelong impact.
Ages 13–17: Fostering Trust and Decision-Making
Teenagers face real-world exposure to drugs and alcohol, and may be processing their own experiences or those of friends. They benefit from open, respectful, and ongoing dialogue.
Tips:
- Be honest and direct. “Addiction can happen to anyone—it’s not about being weak. It’s about brain changes, emotional pain, and sometimes it’s even hereditary.”
- Normalize help-seeking. Let them know it’s brave and important to ask for help, whether for themselves or others.
- Ask questions. Ideas include, but aren’t limited to: “Have you seen anything at school that made you uncomfortable?” or “What would you do if a friend asked you to try something?”
If they’re trying to make sense of someone else’s problems, acknowledge their feelings and provide support. For instance, “It’s hard when a friend or relative is going through this. You can support them without taking on their pain. If someone’s in danger, it’s okay to get an adult involved. That’s not betrayal—it’s care.” Find more discussion resources at Just Think Twice.
Ages 18–25: Encouraging Autonomy and Responsibility
Young adults are forming their values and habits—and may be navigating substance exposure directly. They’re capable of complex, honest conversations and might also be concerned about peers.
Tips:
- Talk about health and goals. Discuss how substances can interfere with relationships, careers, or mental health, but also provide the facts as to why addiction isn’t a choice.
- Share personal experiences (if applicable). If addiction has touched your family or life, share lessons and emphasize that support and recovery are possible.
- Help them identify support systems. Encourage them to know when to speak up or seek help for themselves or others.
By now, you’ve likely established essential trust for these conversations, so don’t be surprised if what they want most is reassurance. Reinforce it with a statement like, “It’s heartbreaking to watch someone hurt themselves. You can care deeply, but still protect your own well-being. There are ways to be a friend without becoming the fixer. I’m always here if you want help figuring out what to do next.”
Willingway’s Additional Resources
At Willingway’s Georgia and Florida addiction rehabilitation locations, our board-certified professionals want to ensure you and your family have all the crucial information to help understand addiction as a brain disease. We offer continuing care community groups throughout the Southeast that are free and open to the public. Contact our admissions office to learn more.